Bye 2013

This year I tried so many new things, I felt every feeling on the spectrum of emotion from elation to melancholy. I fell in love, got my heart broken, lost one of my favorite people in the world, made a difference in people's lives, was taken advantage of, took advantage of someone....but

I came, I saw, I conquered. It is finished and I will make my exodus gracefully and look back with no regrets, just a simple smile and thoughts of how much better I will do in the future.

2014

You think you have all the time in the world until one day...you just don't. So take that trip to Beijing, ask that girl out on a date, run around your house in nothing but cowboy boots, skydive over L.A., go on a road trip with your friends, wear that bikini without a socially acceptable "bikini-ready" body. Do it because this is the year for fear of living to die, this is a year of firsts, a year of love, a year of success, and the year to say yes. 2014 is here mufuckas.

I want to get high and pleasure myself to Weezer...

On tumblr I stumbled across the most beautiful thing...

A Geek Girl’s Prayer

Oct 25 · 2013 (not mine, belongs to this blog)

 

Lord, please grant me
the confidence of a Deadpool cosplayer,
the swagger of a X-Wing pilot,
and the acidic tongue of GLaDOS herself,
by which I can crush under my shoes,
be they Converses, combat boots, Jimmy Choos, or jelly sandals,
any dudebro who assumes I am not what I claim to be.
Protect my sisters-in-costume from con-creepers, body policing, and unsolicited photography,
arm them against men who corner them and demand they recite trivia,
and make them strong and proud in the face of Tony Harris elitism.
Put women in positions of power in the industries of comics, video games, films, television, books, and music,
so that which is not demeaning but encouraging may flourish,
so that every fan may see herself represented.
Impress into the minds of the less-than-enlightened, the misled, and the dickish alike,
that those who identify as women are valid, content-producing, and money-giving members of this culture,
that we may go forth unafraid of harassment and condescension,
into the light of a new golden age of geekdom.
Bless those that already see our value and treasure us as equals,
our brothers that support us and still let us fight our own battles,
let their example lead.
Please retcon from our cultural hivemind the gratuitous Carol Marcus underwear scene,
and let more works of fiction pass the Bechdel and Mako Mori tests.
Grant us monetary restraint, so we can someday afford to go to SDCC like we say we will every year.
Protect us from hot glue burns.
And will you please do something about the Bronies? It’s creeping everyone out.
Amen.

If you're a guy and you don't have a CAUTION: CHOKING HAZARD tattoo above your dick, I can't date you.

I fucking love Portlandia.

Greek Mythology

I really dig mythology in general but Greek mythology is really interesting! I think it's because when I was really young my mom bought an amazing book filled with them all and they were such amazing, vividly told tales. My favorite stories were the ones about Persephone, Narcissus, and Prometheus. The one I most identified with though, was the one about Icarus. The boy who flew too close to the sun. I cried every time I read it and I still cry when I read it today. I see so much of myself in Icarus. I'm not the best person. I'm not the most beautiful girl that ever lived. But I try so hard, I fasten my wax feathers to my back and take flight only to fly too high and plummet into the ocean to my watery death. With a lot of people the problem is that they don't care. With me, I care about everything too damn much. I become competitive and over-ambitious and I fly too high and end up messing up everything,

14 Things I need to spend time doing more and less of in 2014:

I NEED TO SPEND MORE TIME...
1.) French Kissing
2.) Walking around my house naked
3.) Dating quality men
4.) Getting higher than a motherfucker
5.) Eating healthy
4.) Making money
5.) Dancing to Beyonce
6.) Learning and maintaining knowledge of the French language
7.) Traveling to different countries and exploring cities outside of Palmdale
8.) Being Active (working out, fencing, doing archery, biking)
9.) Aggressively rapping Wu Tang Clan lyrics to complete strangers on the street
10.) Watching the stars
11.) Shunning bitch ass niggas who aren't on my level
12.) Touching penises XD
13.) Writing
14.) Reading Shakespeare while jumping on trampolines

I NEED TO SPEND LESS TIME...
1.) Eating Mexican Food
2.) Dating infidels and moronic sons of bitches
3.) Watching hetero anal porn
4.) Wishing I looked like Meagan Good
5.) Doubting myself and my sheer awesomeness
6.) Being awkward
7.) procrastinating
8.) Texting instead of calling
9.) Hating on Marvel
10.) Complaining about life
11.) On Facebook
12.) Needlessly spending
13.) Doing things for people who don't deserve it
14.) Lying for the sake of other's feelings

Rule #1 of dating girls: Don't call them bad names and blame them for the fact that you're an unlikable piece of shit

I'm tired of it. I've been on okcupid all of 2 days and I've already received hate mail from more than 4 different guys containing several enraged paragraphs explaining that they are nice guys and I'm a bitch for idk, not leading them on and telling them how I really felt...if it was possible to die of laughter, y'know, I probably would right now. NEWSFLASH: Girls aren't all shallow, vain, snobbish whores, unworthy of licking your ball sack motherfuckers!!!! TAKE A LOOK AT YOURSELF. EXAMINE YOUR CRAPPY PERSONALITY AND MOTIVES! YOU ARE THE PROBLEM. WE DON'T WANT YOU BECAUSE WE ARE TOO GOOD TO FUCK TRASH. And any guy who blames the fact that they are single on females by saying they are too nice and girls like bad boys or whatever term you use instead is a loose asshole flapping in the winds of fuckery. No one who says they're a fucking "NICE GUY" turns out to be an actual nice guy. They're pieces of shit that deserve all the misfortunes and woes they get when it comes to romance. Nope, you asshats don't deserve to be with anyone. I wouldn't wish you on my worst enemy, you cockroaches. Fuck the guys I've met and continue to meet on Okcupid and online period. Except you, Sean and Michael. You're my virtual soul mates  <3

Falling in love with the mind

It's amazing. It's incredible. No visuals are even necessary. All you need is the last few things that God gave you before adding life: your heart, your soul, and personality.

Back to hell I go...yes, I'm talking about the world of online dating

The men on Ok Cupid are real pieces of shit. I mean I know I shouldn't expect much but God. It's not that hard to try. Like, I'm not all that great myself but I TRY and that's what makes me better than most guys on that stupid site. Well, I met a few rad dudes in Palmdale, California City, and Lancaster. Guess I should stop complaining and start planning dates =)

4:36 AM

Tonight I said I would drink until
my blood turned to alcohol, and I
would forget your name

I ended up forgetting mine first

-e.m.

“Sometimes you meet someone, and it’s so clear that the two of you, on some level belong together. As lovers, or as friends, or as family, or as something entirely different. You just work, whether you understand one another or you’re in love or you’re partners in crime. You meet these people throughout your life, out of nowhere, under the strangest circumstances, and they help you feel alive. I don’t know if that makes me believe in coincidence, or fate, or sheer blind luck, but it definitely makes me believe in something."

—Unknown

Gender Roles suck ass

So I have two really close guy friends and I told both of them I asked a dude out and they both flipped the fuck out...in a positive way. They just went on and on about how cool I was, how they loved the idea, and how more girls should be like me and I was just flabbergasted at their reactions in contrast to the reactions of females. My sister and close friend went in on me and told me it made me seem desperate, needy, and thirsty...but never went into detail on exactly how doing so made me these things and in the end I was pretty disgusted by the behaviors and ignorance they displayed. They went into how I'll end up being some sad, unloved baby mama type and I just couldn't grasp the logic of their bullshit. I love them and I know they love me but what's wrong with their arguments were that they were based in internalized misogyny. They've been brainwashed and so easily fell into gender roles, they see someone doing something different-fucking up the status quo and they freak the fuck out for no damn reason. This is why girls are inactive in romantic ventures. They sit and wait for the guy to come because that is what society and the media has placed in their minds to do. It's really sad. We're so much better than this.

by the worst poetess ever ^_^

SPIRIT MADE OF SCARS

You saw the scars beneath my flesh
the ones that ran down the sides of my heart and soul
and you didn't run
you stayed and watched all the ways in which I could fall apart
before you picked me up
set me aflame with your love and cast me far up into the sky
to burn like a Phoenix rising from it's ashes


DAISY

Everyone deserves a daisy in life, a brilliant person
who paints the rest of their days exquisite ivory and mellow yellow
they don't just skim the surface to appease the shallow parts
they dip a whole hand into the waters of the soul
to feel the pain, sorrows, & deep aching of the heart
they mend and fix and work until healing happens
they bring sunshine and happiness to your very existence
they make it bearable
and even better, beautiful

Marianne Williamson:

“Until we have seen someone’s darkness, we don’t really know who they are. Until we have forgiven someone’s darkness, we don’t really know what love is.”

I'm proud of the woman I am

I'm amazing. I make people happy. My boobs are big and awesome like my personality. If I like a guy, I don't play games and I don't accept my gender role and wait for him to get at me; I ask him out, I buy him flowers, and I treat him to dinner if I fucking see fit to do so. I'm smart as fucking shit and that's not an exaggeration seeing as I've been on the fucking Dean's list for 3 GOT DAMN years! I work hard to look amazing not just for the guys I date, but for myself. I do for myself what I can, I don't rely on others unnecessarily-when everyone else was pressuring their parent's to get them cars for their sweet 16s, I saved up and bought my motherfucking OWN! I overcome depression every time it attacks me and I won't EVER let it win. I'm not shallow, I give my time to anyone who is a quality human being. I fucking speak French. My insides are just as gorgeous as my outside. I do all I can to make others happy as long as it doesn't hurt anybody  or compromise who I am. I don't lie to or cheat people. I love and accept everyone for who they are. I do things for those who can do nothing for me. I give my heart to anyone whose is too broken to keep going. I am in every manner and way, a bad bitch and I’m only going to improve as time goes on because I am someone who stays hungry for change, for excellence, and progress both physically and mentally.

Like I said, I'm amazing as fuck and even though some people may not think so, I FUCKING THINK SO and that's all that matters.

I overanalyze everything that other people do towards me...

I second guess and shortchange the positive feelings that others have about me because I don't trust people who are nice to me for no reason. By default I believe they have dastardly motives. So I ask questions. People find it weird because I go into so much detail with these questions...it is weird but I NEED to know exactly why they like me, why we're friends with me, why they want to be with me, I need to know WHY.

I know it's a real problem but I can't help this paranoia and it depresses me.

At least it helps me not to make an easy target of myself...because as bitter as it makes me sound, here's the truth: People are cruel, sick, and twisted. So many times, I've let them in with my naturally loving and trusting spirit only to have them demolish me from the inside. I've been reduced to a project by people who were supposed to care about me, a fixer upper, and when I didn't become what they wanted, I was discarded and forgotten. So I don't believe that anyone could ever really care about me. They all just want someone to use.

Power of the Pussy

I know that all of my days, they will doubt and question
pay a man more or find an excuse to replace me with one
They'll downplay and ignore, forget that I am more
More than the soft curves of my hips and breasts,
More than a round ass and exquisitely full lips
but this face, this body shall never be my burden
It is a gift and nothing less because at the apex of my thighs lies man's true demise
Pink matter with the ability to make him lose his willpower
A beguiling saccharine sweetness that turns all who partake into lost wanderers
makes them act as if they were explorers and the treasures of the world are hidden
on my tongue
in my cleavage
between my legs
So desperate, so needy, so thirsty for it, it makes you wonder who truly holds the power
                                                                                                                                           

Oh geez, I really love freeverse style...because I can write a bunch of bullshit and call it poetry lol

Anyway, I dedicate this to Helen of Troy, Cleopatra, Mata Hari, and all the other bad bitches of history who ruled men with an iron vagina...these women's cunts were so awe-inspiring they could dismantle fucking civilizations with them and for that, they are my idols.

my life is like a fart

I don't know what's happened but this week I've basically turned into an irresistible, sexual catnip for men. This evolution got me hit on frequently, asked out for dates, and bothered by an ex that I forgot about MONTHS ago...unfortunately, it's made me sick. It was nice for a moment but I just hate myself now. Having a bunch of slutty assholes on my tail is not worth the moral exhaustion. What I really need to do is focus my attention on one and pour my love and affection into him...not smother or nag or drive insane with neediness, but genuinely love him. An amazing guy named Ricky once quoted someone at a Comic Con Venture Bros panel and told me: "Winners never quit, quitters never win." I firmly believe in that statement so no, I don't intend to give up. Who knows if I'll actually end up alone forever, I feel like I am but I'm not quitting. While I'm youthful and still attractive I will try my hardest to find a great guy who will shamelessly play the penis game with me in Target and who also harbors an unnaturally intense love of burritos and create a nice, healthy relationship. I was patient before and God made it happen, although that relationship was brief as fuck...I can do this shit again. Just gotta get back up on the horse and keep riding and maybe one day my efforts on that symbolic horse of triumph will get me someone I can actually ride...because what's a good relationship without dick riding?

Sorry, I really need to stop being so sexually inappropriate and aggressive.

My taste in men is horrendous

Like I really need to start making better decisions in regards to who I date. I'm tired of men losing themselves in everything about me but my mind and heart. I'm tired of attracting the same exact guy over and over. Messes. Guys who take me for granted, who treat me like a side chick and a second choice. It's sad because I don't even start most of these things, distorted ass relationships just find me.

I don't think anyone will ever actually love me. Use me? Yeah, sure...but no one will fall in love with anything more than my body. And I know before I said I was fine being the black woman who doesn't need a man. Thing is, I don't need anyone but I do want a relationship. I'm damn tired of the single life.

This whole mood started because today my asshole ex-boyfriend who is fucking ENGAGED contacted me out of nowhere. He says the usual bullshit about how much he misses me...and then went into many detailed sexual paragraphs. I hate myself because I just indulged and entertained him. I don't actually want to fuck him and it wasn't some weird ego trip I was on knowing I could so effortlessly toy with his feelings...honestly, I've just been really horny for like this whole week so I needed an outlet.

...And so I pretended he was someone else and eventually, I got off, he got off, and we all lived happily ever after.

Seriously though, I don't want to ever do that again. I feel so badly for the girl he's with, for making things worse between them since he was already on the brink of breaking up with her...I'm not a good person. Today, I didn't even try.

When art imitates life...

I admit it had more to do with my infatuation with Joseph Gordon-Levitt rather than the actual substance and heart of the movie, but I've been DYING to see his film Don Jon. So today I finally got to watch and my God it was amazing!

So it's about a guy named Jon, a Catholic womanizing porn addict who only cares about his apartment, his car, his body, his family, church, girls, and porn (mainly). He reminded me so much of someone...not the whole porn addict thing but the way he treated the women in his life. Most all of them were disrespected, discarded, meaningless fucks until he met Barbara and Esther. And where the story goes with them is that he starts dating Barbara but this only happens because he was so desperate to fuck her in the beginning; he realized as he was attempting to get in her pants that he liked her more than the average girl he usually takes home and that he's in love with her...although still not enough to give up porn. While he's dating her, he meets another woman named Esther (I identified with her and related to her relationship with Jon so deeply it was scary) who's kinda weird and quirky and suffers from depression due to certain circumstances. They unwittingly become friends.

While Jon is dating Barbara who is seemingly perfect in every way for him, he's also spending a little time getting to know Esther and in the end Barbara finds out about his addiction to pornography and dumps him. This leads to Esther and him hooking up and they eventually end up together because she shows him that the connection between two people is more powerful and real than porn could ever be. The movie was amazing at demonstrating how much they loved each other without putting a label on their relationship. It was also great how neither ever expected or wanted anything from the other, they just loved. Even though Barbara would always criticize Jon, try to change little things about him, and only accepted half of who he was without loving and embracing the darkest parts, he had Esther who he could talk about anything with, got high with, laughed with, fucked and still remained friends with...it was a nice change of pace. I love an unconventional love story.

“I used to build dreams about you.”

—	F. Scott Fitzgerald

“The worst distance between two people is misunderstanding.”

—	(via moeyhashy)

Want

I love you but I don't need you. If you weren't in my life, I'd keep breathing, I could still be just as happy, and the world would continue to spin. I don't depend on you for anything and you don't do anything for me that I can't already do for myself...but that's why relationships are so special because even though I don't need you in my life, I want you here.

SEX DREAMS ARE THE BEST DREAMS!

If I was a guy...

I'd go for the most slept on (urban dictionary that shit if you're ignorant to what it means) bitches of the female world because the men of today narrow their preferences down to a certain type of woman and can't accept anything even slightly different. We see this reflected in the media as mostly two types of women are displayed: the racially ambiguous but still rather light-skinned curvy swimsuit model (they call it curvy when it's really just skinny with fat concentrated in the chest and butt areas) and the tall, thin, white hipster bitch with lavender ombre blonde hair and a thigh gap as wide as the pacific ocean. Honestly, there's nothing wrong with girls who look like that. They are beautiful, although quite frankly, basic.

And I'm also not trying to say guys can't like what they like...I just think it'd be beneficial if we all were to broaden our horizons more because being picky twats only allows us to miss out on great individuals.

Take me for instance. I gravitate towards lanky White men with dark hair and light eyes. That's what I've liked ever since I can remember but that has never stopped me from noticing a cute chunky Hispanic guy or an athletically built dark-skinned Black dude. Like you don't understand how many amazing guys I'd have missed out on had I said, FUCK YOU, YOU'RE NOT THE EXACT MAKE AND MODEL I'M LOOKING FOR. It's shallow and narrow-minded to do that. If you're fine living in a perfect cookie cutter world where everything is just the way you like it and you never get out of your comfort zone, cool. Stay there. But if you want an interesting life you have to open your world up to all kinds of people.


That's why if I was a guy, I'd like the girls that we don't really see broadcasted in the media, I'd like the girls that no one looks at. Pale girls with flat chests, flaming red hair, freckles down to their toes, and doe-like eyes. Thick Asian women with buzz cuts, long dark lashes and round faces. Black girls with blue hair, big tits, and bushy eyebrows (lol yeah, I just described myself because I am a beautiful but non-conventional looking girl)...

 You look at these alternative women and say they aren't your cup of tea because you've developed your own preconceived notions about them, thinking you're getting so much from reading their physical state but you don't realize how interesting a person can become when you open up your mouth and talk to them and really get to know them.

I desire to leave goosebumps
on parts of your skin
that I still have yet to touch.
Oh how wonderful it will be,
only moments after,
to feel them fade away
as my skin presses
against yours.

Connotativewords [ jl ] | Heat

when they say it's the good girls who are the real freaks, they are not fucking kidding...

I like the idea of being a strong, independent black woman who don't need no man.

I know it's a stereotype and stereotypes are frowned upon but I want to be that bitch, I've always wanted to be that bitch...

That doesn't mean no dick. I can be single and successful and still get dick. I'll be that woman who goes out to bars in her professional work attire, buys dudes drinks and flirts with them from across the room until she eventually charms their pants off (literally).

Yeah, I'm only 20 and I could be out there right now being happy and in love with a boyfriend...but who gives a fuck about relationships when you can get dick without having all the drama that comes with the relationship part. No bullshit is required to fuck, touch, or makeout with a guy.

Another thing: guys are MAJOR distractions! I have my whole life meticulously planned out. Love, quite frankly, is a roadblock I could do without it...I don't need feelings fucking everything up by making me susceptible to triflin ass nigga's lies, allowing me to end up pregnant and alone. I'm too smart for that bullshit.

My last day of school...

I met a guy at the smoothie stand. I should like him. He's normal and tall with beautiful eyes and a jaw as straight and sharp as a stop sign...but he didn't once make me laugh. He got really uncomfortable when I began referencing Robot Chicken...he's basically the kind of guy I'd like to fuck and leave but he asked for my number and he seems genuinely interested in getting to know me so I'm gonna give it a chance because he seems nice. Ben sure as hell wasn't what he seemd but hey, that doesn't mean all guys are imposters with hidden agendas...lol maybe if I keep telling myself that it'll become true. Maybe he'll make me happy.

It's always my job to make everything work. No one cares enough to do things for me, to come see about me, to ask how I am. I'm fucking done being there for everyone when not a goddamn person in the world is there for me. I'm my own best friend, my own boyfriend, my own everything...I'm alone and you know what? That's just fine with me. I am the only person I need. It's just irritating when people show up for you to take care of them and can't return the favor. If you aren't going to do for me what I do for you, then just disappear and let me do for myself.

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

all boys are assholes but this one is a special asshole.

I mean that. I've never been there for someone this way...with every other guy I'm a complete asshole. I've ignored guys, turned them down to their faces, pretended they had the wrong number, everything...I turn into someone else every time for him...

Why Deadpool is one of the only good things about Marvel:

“I destroy myself so you can’t.”

—	Six Word Story #1   (via aer-e)

“Pain is important: how we evade it, how we succumb to it, how we deal with it, how we transcend it.”

—	Audre Lorde

I can't wait

I've never believed in Prince Charming or any of that fairytale bullshit and I'm not too sure about love but I know one day I'm going to meet a guy and we'll create the most beautiful relationship.

He will be an extraordinarily ordinary man who doesn't make a ton of money but is passionate about what he does. He'll make me laugh until I snort, we'll slap each other's asses all the time, and we'll devour pizza while watching reruns of Adventure Time.

He'll love every inch of me, he'll think I'm like no one he's ever met, and kiss me like he's never kissed another girl.

And if there are problems or obstacles, he'll recognize that I am good enough for him to fight for and he'll stay and try. Regardless of distance, racial divides, beliefs, or anything else. He'll try because he believes I'm worth it.

I look far too good to be alone tonight. I mean this red makes my lips look better than Marilyn Monroe's and this shirt is giving me world class Jessica Rabbit cleavage. I guess finding someone to bone actually requires going out to parties, clubs and bars and meeting guys. I just really don't have that kind of time...that's why I meet guys online, why I do everything from behind a screen.

Love is such an ugly thing...

No one realizes but it is the dirtiest thing out there. People will manipulate others under the guise of being in love only to get sex or money or whatever else they can get their filthy hands on. Others use it out of desperation: "Don't leave, I didn't mean to hit you again, I LOVE you, I swear!" And many know what they think it is but mistake it for obsession. If you'd kill or steal or hurt another person for love, newsflash, that ain't love, that's you having such an unhealthy infatuation with another person that you'd do crazy things in order to obtain them, like a possession, like an object or thing.

Nobody understands what real love is anymore because it's been beaten and bruised beyond recognition. We've skewed it and twisted it and turned it into a weapon. Love is evil.

Or maybe I'm rambling because I'm just bitter. That's what happens when people say they love you time and time again and then go on to disappoint you, time and time again. Mostly I'm just disappointed with myself. I used to wonder how anyone could allow themselves to be so vulnerable and weak all for the affections of another. I found out just how hard you can fall when you go in unprotected with your shield generators disabled. And for a pretty face and a few cutesy little words, I fell hard and broke every bone in my body. I feel like I talk about it sooooo much but it's because I'm not over it. I'll never forgive myself for becoming such a fool. I'm reminded every time I see that black floral-print dress (that gives me the world's greatest cleavage) of the things I did because I thought he was worth it. It's driving me crazy. Every day it's the same thing, I think I'm finally going to stop torturing myself only to send yet another text. I'm so pathetic. It would be fine if that's how I naturally was all the time but I'm not this lowly creature who begs for scraps of attention only to get nothing or small remnants.

And sweet God if this isn't the worst feeling in the world...I don't know what is. Hypocrite, liar, user, fucking sadist! Who would put their selves through such torture? Me and because of that I've ended up in such a sorry state. What's worse is I care about him, I'd do anything for him. I'll always be his puppet. Fuck, I should just drown my sorrows in a bottle of Vodka and then actually drown myself. That would be far better than thinking of him and suddenly not being able to eat or dressing up really pretty every day only to realize I'm not going to see him...

Recurring nightmare

When I was a kid I'd constantly have this one dream where I'm in a desert valley walking down a long stretch of road. I'm just strolling along, looking around at all the Cacti and tumbling weeds and then a dark shadow engulfs the land and when I can finally see again, the valley is no longer empty. It's filled with scarecrows. Terrifying ones with empty black eyes and bodies made of rotten flesh that ooze blood in various places. For some reason, I never run back or try to get away or anything. I always keep walking through the valley calmly with my head forward. Then the noises start. I hear a cough or a sigh and look to my sides to see that the scarecrows are missing and many trails of blood are in the dirt leading out onto the road. And there's always the same two endings to this dream: I either realize I'm in danger and try to get away immediately only to end up getting trapped for eternity at a truck stop/diner near the outskirts of the woods (I know, wtf is a forest doing next to a desert?) or I stay on the road and they abduct me and turn me into one of them. It's fucking terrifying and my father and sister say it's prophetic. Haven't had for years but I've been thinking about it a lot lately.

“I’m a paradox. I want to be happy, but I think of things that make me sad. I’m lazy, yet I’m ambitious. I don’t like myself, but I also love who I am. I say I don’t care, but I really do. I crave attention, but reject it when it comes my way. I’m a conflicted contradiction. If I can’t figure myself out, there’s no way anyone else has.”

—	(via carry-on-my-wayward-castiel on tumblr)

Didn't get to write a proper bio so here:

Je m'appelle Janelle Richard. Je suis nee a Pasadena, en Californie le (Vingt et un) Septembre mille neuf cent quatre vingt treize (1993). J'ai Vingt (20) ans. Je suis Americaine. D'origine Africaine. Je ne suis pas mariee. J'ai quatre soeurs et deux freres. Je suis en etudiante en administrative assiste et francais. Je mesure un metre soixante-dix. J'ai les marron yeux  et les cheveux noirs. Je suis feministe et non-conventionelle. J'adore de l'escrime et du tir a larc. J'aime ecrire et du shopping. J'aime le turquoise et rose. Je suis vierge, l'annee du coq. J'adore la cuisine mexicaine et creme la glace. Je deteste twinkies et le lait. Ma devise est: struggle produces progression.

Most all of it is incorrect because I'm missing the accents but whatever.

Christmas...America's favorite pagan holiday. Used to be mine but now it's just another day. I enjoy the giving, putting my own personal touch on my loved one's presents, and the strong feeling of love that seems to linger in the air everywhere I go but I don't like the message. I don't like the media constantly trying to focus on the spirit of Christmas, like people should ONLY be happy during the holidays, like they should ONLY give and be merry toward their fellow men in this season. It's fucking irritating. Why not do these things all the time because it's nice, it's right, and it makes others feel special?

Warrior Princess

It's decided. I'm taking archery and fencing lessons when I get this job in January. I'm really excited and I know I'll have to be extremely dedicated and disciplined and it'll probably take at least 5 consecutive and grueling years for each but I'm prepared to put in the time training to become an absolute beast at these. It's gonna be great and when I'm done, not only will I be a master swordswoman and archer, I'll have lost a buncha pounds from all that cardio =D