I second guess and shortchange the positive feelings that others have about me because I don't trust people who are nice to me for no reason. By default I believe they have dastardly motives. So I ask questions. People find it weird because I go into so much detail with these questions...it is weird but I NEED to know exactly why they like me, why we're friends with me, why they want to be with me, I need to know WHY.
I know it's a real problem but I can't help this paranoia and it depresses me.
At least it helps me not to make an easy target of myself...because as bitter as it makes me sound, here's the truth: People are cruel, sick, and twisted. So many times, I've let them in with my naturally loving and trusting spirit only to have them demolish me from the inside. I've been reduced to a project by people who were supposed to care about me, a fixer upper, and when I didn't become what they wanted, I was discarded and forgotten. So I don't believe that anyone could ever really care about me. They all just want someone to use.
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